X-Spam-Flag: NO X-Envelope-From: merilee@kerncommunications.com Return-Path: Received: from dukecmmtar03.coxmail.com (dukecmmtar03.coxmail.com [68.99.120.44]) by mail134c38.carrierzone.com (8.13.6/8.13.1) with ESMTP id q0NIewaB009519 for ; Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:41:03 -0500 Received: from dukecmimpo02.coxmail.com ([68.99.120.135]) by dukecmmtar03.coxmail.com (InterMail vM.7.08.02.01 201-2186-121-102-20070209) with ESMTP id <20120123184058.GJSA4954.dukecmmtar03.coxmail.com@dukecmimpo02.coxmail.com>; Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:40:58 -0500 Received: from merilee07cf8a9 ([68.15.13.44]) by dukecmimpo02.coxmail.com with bizsmtp id R6gw1i0040x1YcL016gy8w; Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:40:58 -0500 Message-ID: <323F0BA19982476B8EBC18BB67461D69@merilee07cf8a9> Reply-To: "Merilee Kern" From: "Merilee Kern" To: , , "Julia Valentine" , "Merilee Kern" Subject: Chicago Tribune Online Placement Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2012 10:41:39 -0800 Organization: Kern Communications MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/related; type="multipart/alternative"; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_03D3_01CCD9BB.968F7EC0" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2900.5931 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.6157 X-CSC: 0 X-CHA: v=1.1 cv=DkKHUMzP9Cf7sHn8f5/U1/dJCJEdPskD5+HdoEo8XkI= c=1 sm=1 a=nGo8SpNOHtMA:10 a=OkTZCP_1vwgA:10 a=AKOHMRsPwIEA:10 a=amoHW2/Lxk+JwdK3UfH89Q==:17 a=mHG0eP1jAAAA:8 a=5wC7QQpLwLJcK38hYnsA:9 a=uySkzYS-pD--h3aS-_AA:7 a=pILNOxqGKmIA:10 a=LHEen7vqdZAIc21W:21 a=yYGOA8o5am8RGAqy:21 a=QI5c6vrK3WdbzO2PefwA:9 a=lCpufqgY3z8AvGm8ZRoA:7 a=tXsnliwV7b4A:10 a=os6bro2kgQ0A:10 a=jQ7qy9Dwfqxrp1slUQ4A:9 a=HXjIzolwW10A:10 a=w8qSHVOsKGkl1lns:18 a=GQNcxYAmtLXB/ffFAU8xTQ==:117 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_03D3_01CCD9BB.968F7EC0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_001_03D4_01CCD9BB.968F7EC0" ------=_NextPart_001_03D4_01CCD9BB.968F7EC0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="Windows-1252" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-x-retirement-20120125,0,35078= 59.story You say Orlando, and I say Sedona=85 As couples near retirement, some are finding their ideas of how to spend = their golden years don't agree =20 By Bonnie Miller Rubin, Chicago Tribune reporter=20 January 25, 2012 Sherry Wolf always indulged her husband's love of Costa Rica =97 until = he brought home a book about moving there. "I told him, 'Don't even think about it, because I'm not going,'" she = said. While Scott Wolf, a 61-year-old Flossmoor radiologist, envisioned a = retirement of surfing and mojitos, his wife carried a very different = snapshot in her head of theater, restaurants and concerts. Also, she has = obligations anchoring her to the Midwest, including a 90-year-old mother = in Northbrook. "If something happens, it takes two days to get home from Central = America," she said. "So, for now, we're just not dealing with it." As the first wave of baby boomers hit 65, they are confronting one of = the most fundamental questions of retirement: Where are we going to = live? After years of earning a paycheck and raising children, couples say the = prospect of finally having time to pursue their own interests can be = delicious =97 or daunting. And while there's plenty of advice on how to = navigate this chapter financially, landing on the same page emotionally = as your spouse can be far more elusive. The Wolfs, who have two grown daughters and have been married for 31 = years, were surprised to reach this crossroads and discover that they = had different road maps. For now, Sherry Wolf, 59, is content with = working =97 which includes supervising student teachers for Governors = State University and leading Weight Watchers meetings. Her husband, though, had tired of medicine and retired two years ago. He = longed to live near water, which doesn't enter into her equation at all. = "I can handle the beach for four or five days =85 but after that, I need = something more." Instead, she is lobbying for Santa Fe, N.M., with its change of seasons = and vibrant cultural scene, even though surfing isn't an option in = landlocked New Mexico. They considered buying a second home but decided = against the responsibilities of owning two dwellings. So, for the last three years, he has gone to Costa Rica solo for a = month, while she keeps her daily routine here. They talk by Skype every = day =97 about the kids, the dog, everything but living arrangements. The Wolfs are hardly alone. In a 2011 study, the MetLife Mature Market = Institute found that only 51 percent of respondents have even identified = personal goals in retirement. Some 63 percent of those 55 and older say = they plan to age in place, while 12 percent plan to move and 26 percent = are undecided. John Migliaccio, MetLife's director of research and gerontology, gives = couples paper and crayons to draw their post-work life. When it comes = time to compare sketches, one spouse might have a remote mountain = retreat while the other has an urban loft. "They can be married 40 or 50 years and they'll look at each other as if = to say, 'How could you not know that I was thinking about this?' A lot = of couples approach retirement in their head =85 but it never gets = externalized to their partner," Migliaccio said. Baby boomers differ from their parents in several key ways, including = longer life expectancy and being more accustomed to pulling up stakes, = experts said. Also, unlike the World War II generation, women =97 who = have their own careers and pensions =97 are less likely to leave all the = decision-making up to their husbands. Today's retirees also can choose from far more options on how to spend = these bonus years. The Peace Corps, for example, saw a 44 percent = increase in applications from older Americans between 2007 and 2009. If = one mate envisions this as a time for public service, while the other = dreams of verdant fairways in a 55-and-over enclave, expect some sparks = to fly.=20 "It's one reason why you see more couples end their relationship at this = stage," Migliaccio said. "They're both on different paths." Julia Valentine, author of "Joy Compass: How to Make Your Retirement the = Treasure of Your Life," agreed that this can be a tricky transition. "Just having the right amount in the bank is not enough," Valentine = explained. "You need to ask yourself: What do I need to be fulfilled? = Then find specific ways to ensure those needs can be met." Valentine was one of the speakers at the recent Ideal Living Resort and = Retirement Expo in Schaumburg. The event brought together a dazzling = array of Sun Belt communities, touting lush landscapes, championship = golf and tennis, all enjoyed by smiling, sherbet-attired couples. At every booth, balmy winter temperatures and low taxes beckoned =97 as = did salespeople ready to swat away objections, including proximity to = children and grandchildren. "What happens when the kids choose to move for another job? Are you = willing to sacrifice your own life for the sake of your children?" asked = Carol Schulz, formerly of Barrington. She now works for The Villages of = Citrus Hills in Hernando, Fla., about an hour's drive north of Tampa. Still, Schulz conceded that uprooting yourself late in life is a big = step. When she and her husband first moved in 2004, she would return to = Chicago about eight times a year. Now, she has whittled the trips down = to three. "We're asking people to change everything they know. =85 It's a process, = and you have to baby them along the way." Ginger and Tom Waeghe of Algonquin =97 he's in construction; she's in = banking =97 admitted to feeling overwhelmed by all the exhibitors, = including 24 locales in Tennessee alone. "It's stressful," said Ginger Waeghe, 55. "The only way we can talk = about this is on our cellphones during our commutes. =85 It just seems = to go better that way. By the time we're done with our day, we're too = drained to have these conversations." So far, she and her 50-year-old husband agree that the next stage will = probably include part-time jobs. She likes Florida, but he doesn't. = They've checked out Arizona, which they both rejected. They share a = straightforward but contradictory idea of what they require from a = retirement spot. "We want to live simply, but we do like nicer things." So, it's back to the drawing board, to tweak =97 not abandon =97 their = plans. Ginger Waeghe knows that time is precious, especially because = both of her parents died in their 60s. "We're not waiting." Added her husband, "We don't want to be so busy making a living that we = don't make a life." Copyright =A9 2012, Chicago Tribune ------=_NextPart_001_03D4_01CCD9BB.968F7EC0 Content-Type: text/html; charset="Windows-1252" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-x-retiremen= t-20120125,0,3507859.story

 

You say Orlando, and I say Sedona=85

As couples near retirement, some are finding = their ideas=20 of how to spend their golden years don't agree

=20
By Bonnie Miller Rubin, Chicago Tribune = reporter=20

January 25, 2012

Sherry Wolf always = indulged her=20 husband's love of Costa Rica =97 until he brought home a book = about moving=20 there.

"I told him, 'Don't even think about it, because = I'm not=20 going,'" she said.

While Scott Wolf, a 61-year-old Flossmoor = radiologist,=20 envisioned a retirement of surfing and mojitos, his wife carried a very=20 different snapshot in her head of theater, restaurants and concerts. = Also, she=20 has obligations anchoring her to the Midwest, including a 90-year-old = mother in=20 Northbrook.

"If something happens, it takes two days to get = home from=20 Central America," she said. "So, for now, we're just not dealing with = it."

As the first wave of baby boomers hit 65, they = are=20 confronting one of the most fundamental questions of retirement: Where = are we=20 going to live?

After years of earning a paycheck and raising = children,=20 couples say the prospect of finally having time to pursue their own = interests=20 can be delicious =97 or daunting. And while there's plenty of advice on = how to=20 navigate this chapter financially, landing on the same page emotionally = as your=20 spouse can be far more elusive.

The Wolfs, who have two grown daughters and have = been=20 married for 31 years, were surprised to reach this crossroads and = discover that=20 they had different road maps. For now, Sherry Wolf, 59, is content with = working=20 =97 which includes supervising student teachers for Governors State = University and=20 leading Weight Watchers meetings.

Her husband, though, had tired of medicine and = retired two=20 years ago. He longed to live near water, which doesn't enter into her = equation=20 at all. "I can handle the beach for four or five days =85 but after = that, I need=20 something more."

Instead, she is lobbying for Santa Fe, N.M., = with its=20 change of seasons and vibrant cultural scene, even though surfing isn't = an=20 option in landlocked New Mexico. They considered buying a second home = but=20 decided against the responsibilities of owning two dwellings.

So, for the last = three years, he=20 has gone to Costa Rica solo for a month, while she keeps her daily = routine here.=20 They talk by Skype every day =97 about the kids, the dog, = everything but=20 living arrangements.

The Wolfs are = hardly alone. In a=20 2011 study, the MetLife Mature Market Institute found that only = 51=20 percent of respondents have even identified personal goals in = retirement. Some=20 63 percent of those 55 and older say they plan to age in place, while 12 = percent=20 plan to move and 26 percent are undecided.

John Migliaccio, MetLife's director of research = and=20 gerontology, gives couples paper and crayons to draw their post-work = life. When=20 it comes time to compare sketches, one spouse might have a remote = mountain=20 retreat while the other has an urban loft.

"They can be married 40 or 50 years and they'll = look at=20 each other as if to say, 'How could you not know that I was thinking = about=20 this?' A lot of couples approach retirement in their head =85 but it = never gets=20 externalized to their partner," Migliaccio said.

Baby boomers = differ from their=20 parents in several key ways, including longer life expectancy and being = more=20 accustomed to pulling up stakes, experts said. Also, unlike the World War II generation, women =97 who have = their own=20 careers and pensions =97 are less likely to leave all the = decision-making up to=20 their husbands.

Today's retirees = also can choose=20 from far more options on how to spend these bonus years. The Peace Corps, for example, saw a 44 percent = increase in=20 applications from older Americans between 2007 and 2009. If one mate = envisions=20 this as a time for public service, while the other dreams of verdant = fairways in=20 a 55-and-over enclave, expect some sparks to fly.

"It's one reason why you see more couples end = their=20 relationship at this stage," Migliaccio said. "They're both on different = paths."

Julia=20 Valentine, author of "Joy Compass: How to Make Your = Retirement=20 the Treasure of Your Life," agreed that this can be a tricky = transition.

"Just having the right amount in the bank is not = enough,"=20 Valentine explained. "You need to ask yourself: What do I need to be = fulfilled?=20 Then find specific ways to ensure those needs can be met."

Valentine was one of the speakers at the recent = Ideal Living Resort and Retirement = Expo in=20 Schaumburg. The event brought together a dazzling array of Sun Belt = communities,=20 touting lush landscapes, championship golf and tennis, all enjoyed by = smiling,=20 sherbet-attired couples.

At every booth, balmy winter temperatures and = low taxes=20 beckoned =97 as did salespeople ready to swat away objections, including = proximity=20 to children and grandchildren.

"What happens when = the kids=20 choose to move for another job? Are you willing to sacrifice your own = life for=20 the sake of your children?" asked Carol Schulz, formerly of Barrington. = She now=20 works for The Villages of Citrus Hills in Hernando, Fla., about an = hour's drive=20 north of Tampa.

Still, Schulz conceded that uprooting yourself = late in=20 life is a big step. When she and her husband first moved in 2004, she = would=20 return to Chicago about eight times a year. Now, she has whittled the = trips down=20 to three.

"We're asking people to change everything they = know. =85=20 It's a process, and you have to baby them along the way."

Ginger and Tom Waeghe of Algonquin =97 he's in = construction;=20 she's in banking =97 admitted to feeling overwhelmed by all the = exhibitors,=20 including 24 locales in Tennessee alone.

"It's stressful," said Ginger Waeghe, 55. "The = only way we=20 can talk about this is on our cellphones during our commutes. =85 It = just seems to=20 go better that way. By the time we're done with our day, we're too = drained to=20 have these conversations."

So far, she and her 50-year-old husband agree = that the=20 next stage will probably include part-time jobs. She likes Florida, but = he=20 doesn't. They've checked out Arizona, which they both rejected. They = share a=20 straightforward but contradictory idea of what they require from a = retirement=20 spot. "We want to live simply, but we do like nicer things."

So, it's back to the drawing board, to tweak =97 = not abandon=20 =97 their plans. Ginger Waeghe knows that time is precious, especially = because=20 both of her parents died in their 60s. "We're not waiting."

Added her husband, "We don't want to be so busy = making a=20 living that we don't make a life."

Copyright =A9=20 2012, Chicago = Tribune

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