X-Spam-Flag: NO X-Envelope-From: merilee@kerncommunications.com Return-Path: Received: from dukecmmtar04.coxmail.com (dukecmmtar04.coxmail.com [68.99.120.47]) by mail162c38.carrierzone.com (8.13.6/8.13.1) with ESMTP id pBTIdKmB028290 for ; Thu, 29 Dec 2011 13:39:23 -0500 Received: from dukecmimpo02.coxmail.com ([68.99.120.135]) by dukecmmtar04.coxmail.com (InterMail vM.7.08.02.01 201-2186-121-102-20070209) with ESMTP id <20111229183917.NFAL14742.dukecmmtar04.coxmail.com@dukecmimpo02.coxmail.com>; Thu, 29 Dec 2011 13:39:17 -0500 Received: from merilee07cf8a9 ([68.15.13.44]) by dukecmimpo02.coxmail.com with bizsmtp id F6fG1i0080x1YcL016fHCH; Thu, 29 Dec 2011 13:39:17 -0500 Message-ID: <2BB91DAA45474DEFADDBD8AC3A81ED07@merilee07cf8a9> Reply-To: "Merilee Kern" From: "Merilee Kern" To: , "Merilee Kern" , "Raoul Davis" , Subject: Chicago Tribune Online Placement Date: Thu, 29 Dec 2011 10:39:19 -0800 Organization: Kern Communications MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/related; type="multipart/alternative"; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0F75_01CCC616.1EA59510" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2900.5931 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.6157 X-CSC: 0 X-CHA: v=1.1 cv=m2Ox93TL9ocCUWoAd4CYm3iUBP0l+7lo7q37wutjzHM= c=1 sm=1 a=nGo8SpNOHtMA:10 a=OkTZCP_1vwgA:10 a=AKOHMRsPwIEA:10 a=amoHW2/Lxk+JwdK3UfH89Q==:17 a=mHG0eP1jAAAA:8 a=66AVoR2Pa_iaa141V7gA:9 a=DDVUkE782khte-v-X60A:7 a=wPNLvfGTeEIA:10 a=Ce0wrqpaliR4hNlG:21 a=BF1cTTBjxc6OmPb7:21 a=aUwcRmIRFK0xpum8fWUA:9 a=iFrxHJMEcHqeVIKe7ZoA:7 a=tXsnliwV7b4A:10 a=os6bro2kgQ0A:10 a=KwsibOAgFffG2J-MlfcA:9 a=HXjIzolwW10A:10 a=aY76Gx8-X86F3RAX:18 a=kMAKiqu5Rp2I0moa1OqVOA==:117 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0F75_01CCC616.1EA59510 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_001_0F76_01CCC616.1EA59510" ------=_NextPart_001_0F76_01CCC616.1EA59510 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/tribu/ct-tribu-weigel-facing-fears= -20111229,0,5935139.column =20 9 fears and how to beat them You can prevent fear from holding you back, personally and = professionally Jen Weigel Lessons for life=20 December 29, 2011 Do the fears in your life keep you from following your dreams? According = to empowerment expert Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, it's time to "grab the = handlebars of life" and achieve your goals in 2012. "We all have things we want to achieve, but we lose faith in ourselves = and in our abilities," said Lewis-Fernandez, a retired Air Force master = sergeant. Here are the most common fears that Lewis-Fernandez said hold us back, = along with her tips for conquering them. Fear of success: "This is a fear of standing out and actually getting = what you want," Lewis-Fernandez said. "Once you've gotten the right mind = set, you need to get a coach or a mentor. You can also have an = accountability buddy, which is someone who holds you to a higher = standard and who believes in you. This is someone you can turn to when = you have doubts." Fear of leading: "People will worry, 'What if I don't lead them = properly? What if I do it all wrong?'" she said. "Let go of the outcome. = Leaders are not born, they are made. It's a matter of taking a small = project and testing the waters so you can prove to yourself that you can = handle it." Fear of speaking: "This is a bigger fear than death," she said. "The = only way to get better at this is to train. Start small, speaking to = one. Even try it sitting down. And work your way up to standing." Fear of power: "As you become more successful, there's this fear about = exercising your power in the right way," she said. "Ask yourself, 'Am I = tapping into my authentic power, or my ego?' The authentic power is the = power we use for good, and the ego is power we use that can harm = people." Fear of failure: "We often won't try anything because that, in our = minds, is better than failing," Lewis-Fernandez said. "Failure is a = learning tool to get better. I tell people they have to do this to = become successful. Once you consider it something you must do to get = better, it helps. You embrace it. Then you can expand your knowledge and = you may knock it out of the park the next time." Fear of compromising integrity: "This means doing the right thing, even = when no one is looking," she said. "Set your boundaries in advance, and = know that these are things you won't compromise, no matter what. Tell = someone you respect about your boundaries and have someone hold you = accountable to where you draw the line so you stay on track." Fear of vulnerability: "There's a concern that you could get ridiculed, = stepped on, or hurt if you're open and honest. You have to be open so = people can get the real you. Share a little bit of yourself at a time. = See how you handle the reaction others have to your vulnerability. .You = have to be vulnerable to build trust." Fear of being alone: "I was guilty of this years ago," she said. "We are = so scared of being with ourselves so we stay in relationships that are = toxic or codependent. "I tell people to look themselves in the mirror and ask, 'What do I = absolutely love about myself today?' and don't break eye contact until = you say something. If you're laughing or rolling your eyes at the idea = of this, then you need this more than you think. It's not what you like = about yourself either. It's love. Even if it's something like, 'I love = that I can use hair color to cover my gray hairs.' Just say something to = yourself that is truly positive to erase these other fears." Fear of appearing selfish: "We're all so busy and we don't take time to = do something for ourselves," Lewis-Fernandez said. "If you don't nurture = yourself first, you burn out and won't be able to help anybody else. . = Designate some time to do what you love." Copyright =A9 2011, Chicago Tribune ------=_NextPart_001_0F76_01CCC616.1EA59510 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
http://www.chicagotribune.com/feature= s/tribu/ct-tribu-weigel-facing-fears-20111229,0,5935139.column=
 
 

9 fears and how to beat them

You can prevent fear from holding you back, personally and=20 professionally

Jen Weigel Lessons for=20 life=20

December 29,=20 2011

Do the fears in = your life keep=20 you from following your dreams? According to empowerment expert Eldonna=20 Lewis-Fernandez, it's time to "grab the handlebars of life" and achieve = your=20 goals in 2012.

"We all have things we want to achieve, but we = lose faith=20 in ourselves and in our abilities," said Lewis-Fernandez, a retired Air = Force=20 master sergeant.

Here are the most common fears that = Lewis-Fernandez said=20 hold us back, along with her tips for conquering them.

Fear of = success: "This is a fear of standing out and actually getting what = you=20 want," Lewis-Fernandez said. "Once you've gotten the right mind set, you = need to=20 get a coach or a mentor. You can also have an accountability buddy, = which is=20 someone who holds you to a higher standard and who believes in you. This = is=20 someone you can turn to when you have doubts."

Fear of = leading:=20 "People will worry, 'What if I don't lead them properly? What if I = do it all=20 wrong?'" she said. "Let go of the outcome. Leaders are not born, they = are made.=20 It's a matter of taking a small project and testing the waters so you = can prove=20 to yourself that you can handle it."

Fear of speaking: = "This is a=20 bigger fear than death," she said. "The only way to get better at this = is to=20 train. Start small, speaking to one. Even try it sitting down. And work = your way=20 up to standing."

Fear of power: "As you become more = successful,=20 there's this fear about exercising your power in the right way," she = said. "Ask=20 yourself, 'Am I tapping into my authentic power, or my ego?' The = authentic power=20 is the power we use for good, and the ego is power we use that can harm=20 people."

Fear of failure: "We often won't try anything = because=20 that, in our minds, is better than failing," Lewis-Fernandez said. = "Failure is a=20 learning tool to get better. I tell people they have to do this to = become=20 successful. Once you consider it something you must do to get better, it = helps.=20 You embrace it. Then you can expand your knowledge and you may knock it = out of=20 the park the next time."

Fear of compromising integrity: = "This=20 means doing the right thing, even when no one is looking," she said. = "Set your=20 boundaries in advance, and know that these are things you won't = compromise, no=20 matter what. Tell someone you respect about your boundaries and have = someone=20 hold you accountable to where you draw the line so you stay on=20 track."

Fear of vulnerability: "There's a concern that you = could=20 get ridiculed, stepped on, or hurt if you're open and honest. You have = to be=20 open so people can get the real you. Share a little bit of yourself at a = time.=20 See how you handle the reaction others have to your vulnerability=85 = .You have to=20 be vulnerable to build trust."

Fear of being alone: "I was = guilty=20 of this years ago," she said. "We are so scared of being with ourselves = so we=20 stay in relationships that are toxic or codependent.

"I tell = people to=20 look themselves in the mirror and ask, 'What do I absolutely love about = myself=20 today?' and don't break eye contact until you say something. If you're = laughing=20 or rolling your eyes at the idea of this, then you need this more than = you=20 think. It's not what you like about yourself either. It's love. = Even if=20 it's something like, 'I love that I can use hair color to cover my gray = hairs.'=20 Just say something to yourself that is truly positive to erase these = other=20 fears."

Fear of appearing selfish: "We're all so busy and = we don't=20 take time to do something for ourselves," Lewis-Fernandez said. "If you = don't=20 nurture yourself first, you burn out and won't be able to help anybody = else. =85=20 Designate some time to do what you love."
Copyright =A9 2011, Chicago=20 Tribune
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