X-Spam-Flag: NO X-Envelope-From: merilee@kerncommunications.com Return-Path: Received: from dukecmmtar03.coxmail.com (dukecmmtar03.coxmail.com [68.99.120.44]) by mail142c38.carrierzone.com (8.13.6/8.13.1) with ESMTP id pABGekPM027694 for ; Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:40:53 -0500 Received: from dukecmimpo03.coxmail.com ([68.99.120.137]) by dukecmmtar03.coxmail.com (InterMail vM.7.08.02.01 201-2186-121-102-20070209) with ESMTP id <20111111164046.SQJL7543.dukecmmtar03.coxmail.com@dukecmimpo03.coxmail.com>; Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:40:46 -0500 Received: from merilee07cf8a9 ([68.15.13.44]) by dukecmimpo03.coxmail.com with bizsmtp id vsgk1h0040x1YcL01sgl4f; Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:40:45 -0500 Message-ID: <0E3974861A1246079BFC0A001CEFA755@merilee07cf8a9> Reply-To: "Merilee Kern" From: "Merilee Kern" To: , , "Raoul Davis" , , "Merilee Kern" Subject: McClatchy-Tribune News Service Placement (Wire Sndication - will get picked up on multiple top tier outlets thoughtout US like this Sacramento Bee Online) Date: Fri, 11 Nov 2011 08:41:04 -0800 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/related; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_03FD_01CCA04D.A5F19260"; type="multipart/alternative" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2900.5931 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.6157 X-CSC: 0 X-CHA: v=1.1 cv=GrA4iIS+Zcwl83bZl6QMqGG+oeTmI3fu4IiYVYwgn3Y= c=1 sm=1 a=YxJicI3StlUA:10 a=nGo8SpNOHtMA:10 a=OkTZCP_1vwgA:10 a=AKOHMRsPwIEA:10 a=amoHW2/Lxk+JwdK3UfH89Q==:17 a=1vwnCo1qAAAA:8 a=G7DQWo0GAAAA:8 a=_4tn2xViv_dq5sRBkxEA:9 a=CmYZXY9BELe7Qmpxg3cA:7 a=wPNLvfGTeEIA:10 a=I7nj9Liwrz0A:10 a=LMpD_44y2LI1KNnE:21 a=HGdhItmd4C9Yeiu1:21 a=3j4BkbkPAAAA:8 a=D0CCUJU_AAAA:8 a=GBgMyC6Hous6L9ZjscsA:9 a=_v8hHTRdENi2L98Fj_sA:7 a=pLmx9cT7vOwA:10 a=mMXXI8FkOY0A:10 a=H_cHvoIeKV4A:10 a=AZEGEX307hYA:10 a=_Cs0Oywsnp88EUph:21 a=RIvN6chO9VBUsK_j:21 a=oMc9Sn4axfo8EZzomZ0A:9 a=HXjIzolwW10A:10 a=X20rlY3rlS5ogTVA:18 a=GQNcxYAmtLXB/ffFAU8xTQ==:117 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_03FD_01CCA04D.A5F19260 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_001_03FE_01CCA04D.A5F19260" ------=_NextPart_001_03FE_01CCA04D.A5F19260 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable http://www.sacbee.com/2011/11/10/4045915/delight-or-doom-seven-signs-youv= e.html Delight or doom? Seven signs you've found the 'right' marriage mate By JACQUELINE DEL ROSARIO McClatchy-Tribune=20 By JACQUELINE DEL ROSARIO=20 Last modified: 2011-11-10T22:07:24Z Published: Thursday, Nov. 10, 2011 - 12:00 am=20 You've invested a lot of time, effort and emotional energy in your = relationship. Things are good, and you think you've found "the one" that = marriage-worthy person you're prepared to spend the rest of your life = with for better or for worse. But, before you say "I do" and turn this = relationship into a life-long commitment, first determine if you and = your mate are compatible in key areas proven to foster happy, healthy = marriages that go the distance. Here are seven signs to help you best assess if your relationship will = result in delightful wedded bliss, or if doom and gloom is the more = likely outcome. This marriage compatibility checklist will help you = analyze the relationship hand you've been dealt so you can hold 'em or = fold 'em! 1. You are like-minded. While you don't have to be exactly the same = (let's face it, that would be boring), you do need to have congruent = core morals and values. These shape expectations and direction and are = essential ingredients of a resilient marriage. After all, how can two = people travel together, and enjoy the journey, unless they are heading = in the same direction and agree on how they will get there? Are you on = the same pathway in terms of wants, needs and desires or are you headed = down opposite roads?=20 2. Your temperament balances one another. One of you may be an = extrovert, and the other an introvert. One a Type A, and the other more = passive. While these glaring differences may lead to conflict at times, = these opposing temperaments often bring balance. If you are the Yin to = your mate's Yang or vice versa, you will better your chances of = achieving a harmonious relationship. But, bear in mind these differing = character traits should serve to create a well-rounded whole = relationship. Beware if your respective tendencies are just too = different to ever make the puzzle pieces fit. 3. You are both committed to do the work. The Beatles got it wrong love = is NOT all you need. Effort and work is necessary to cultivate a strong = and satisfying relationship for the long-term. Rewards rarely come by = just "phoning it in"; rather, dividends are realized when you work hard = at something with forethought, intention and resolve. With respect to = relationships, committing to always fine-tuning and bettering it is the = glue that holds it all together. If your partner is not engaged in = making the effort now, it is unlikely to change once you are married. In = fact, the lack of effort and engagement could get even worse as = complacency sets in. 4. You are able to speak your partner's "love language." When two people = with different dialects try to communicate, it is often confusing, = frustrating and downright futile. Neither person understands what the = other is trying to say. The same holds true in a marriage where each = partner has their own "love language" those romantic, sexual and = emotional needs that make each individual feel fulfilled. Is your mate = taking the time to learn and speak your love language, and are you = interested in speaking theirs or is such emotional gratification already = being lost in translation? 5. You are able to work together to resolve problems. This is when the = rubber meets the road. Bottom line: you have to be able to work through = conflict to find mutually felt resolution in a healthy and productive = manner. Marital life is filled with bumps, twists and turns, so having a = partner that works well with you to work through conflict minimizes the = stress on the relationship. This certainly doesn't mean you can or = should enter marriage with the intent to change the other person, and = don't change who YOU are simply to keep the peace. The key is to be true = to yourself while learning when and how to compromise so that you can = effectively work through problems without one or the other feeling = resentful. If this isn't possible now, take pause. 6. You are attracted to them. Do you remember that initial spark between = the two of you? There is a special chemistry that is electrifying when = there is a true physical attraction. As your relationship matures, daily = life issues dominate your attention, and bodies age, this fundamental = human attraction can keep those fires burning between the two of you = both physically and emotionally. Every fire will burn itself out if not = fueled, so assess if the flames are being stoked now well before the = wedding day. 7. You genuinely like who your partner is as a person. A relationship = must be based upon a solid friendship that can stand the test of time. = You genuinely enjoy each other's company and prefer to spend time = together rather than alone or with others. You should like the person as = much as you love them. Respect, admiration and honor are enduring traits = that remain even as passion ebbs and flows over time. Can you truly say = that your mate is your best friend? Would your partner say that about = you? "America's Marriage Doctor" Jacqueline Del Rosario is President and CEO = of Recapturing the Vision International, an organization dedicated to = promoting healthy marriages and family strengthening. Also a published = author, speaker and nationally regarded media personality, Dr. Del = Rosario has been a certified pre and post-marital counselor for more = than 20 years. She has two children and currently resides in Miami with = her husband of over 20 years. Dr. Del Rosario may be reached online at = www.doctordelrosario.com.=20 ------=_NextPart_001_03FE_01CCA04D.A5F19260 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
http://www.sacbee.com/2011/11/10/4045915/delight-or-doom-= seven-signs-youve.html
 
 
3Dsacbee.com=20
 

Delight or doom? Seven signs = you've=20 found the 'right' marriage mate

By JACQUELINE DEL ROSARIO
McClatchy-Tribune
By JACQUELINE DEL ROSARIO =
Last=20 modified: 2011-11-10T22:07:24Z
Published: Thursday, Nov. 10, 2011 - = 12:00 am=20

You've invested a lot of time, effort and emotional energy in your=20 relationship. Things are good, and you think you've found "the one" that = marriage-worthy person you're prepared to spend the rest of your life = with for=20 better or for worse. But, before you say "I do" and turn this = relationship into=20 a life-long commitment, first determine if you and your mate are = compatible in=20 key areas proven to foster happy, healthy marriages that go the = distance.

Here are seven signs to help you best assess if your relationship = will result=20 in delightful wedded bliss, or if doom and gloom is the more likely = outcome.=20 This marriage compatibility checklist will help you analyze the = relationship=20 hand you've been dealt so you can hold 'em or fold 'em!

1. You are like-minded. While you don't have to be exactly the same = (let's=20 face it, that would be boring), you do need to have congruent core = morals and=20 values. These shape expectations and direction and are essential = ingredients of=20 a resilient marriage. After all, how can two people travel together, and = enjoy=20 the journey, unless they are heading in the same direction and agree on = how they=20 will get there? Are you on the same pathway in terms of wants, needs and = desires=20 or are you headed down opposite roads?

2. Your temperament balances one another. One of you may be an = extrovert, and=20 the other an introvert. One a Type A, and the other more passive. While = these=20 glaring differences may lead to conflict at times, these opposing = temperaments=20 often bring balance. If you are the Yin to your mate's Yang or vice = versa, you=20 will better your chances of achieving a harmonious relationship. But, = bear in=20 mind these differing character traits should serve to create a = well-rounded=20 whole relationship. Beware if your respective tendencies are just too = different=20 to ever make the puzzle pieces fit.

3. You are both committed to do the work. The Beatles got it wrong love is NOT all you = need. Effort=20 and work is necessary to cultivate a strong and satisfying relationship = for the=20 long-term. Rewards rarely come by just "phoning it in"; rather, = dividends are=20 realized when you work hard at something with forethought, intention and = resolve. With respect to relationships, committing to always fine-tuning = and=20 bettering it is the glue that holds it all together. If your partner is = not=20 engaged in making the effort now, it is unlikely to change once you are = married.=20 In fact, the lack of effort and engagement could get even worse as = complacency=20 sets in.

4. You are able to speak your partner's "love language." When two = people with=20 different dialects try to communicate, it is often confusing, = frustrating and=20 downright futile. Neither person understands what the other is trying to = say.=20 The same holds true in a marriage where each partner has their own "love = language" those romantic, sexual and emotional needs that make each = individual=20 feel fulfilled. Is your mate taking the time to learn and speak your = love=20 language, and are you interested in speaking theirs or is such emotional = gratification already being lost in translation?

5. You are able to work together to resolve problems. This is when = the rubber=20 meets the road. Bottom line: you have to be able to work through = conflict to=20 find mutually felt resolution in a healthy and productive manner. = Marital life=20 is filled with bumps, twists and turns, so having a partner that works = well with=20 you to work through conflict minimizes the stress on the relationship. = This=20 certainly doesn't mean you can or should enter marriage with the intent = to=20 change the other person, and don't change who YOU are simply to keep the = peace.=20 The key is to be true to yourself while learning when and how to = compromise so=20 that you can effectively work through problems without one or the other = feeling=20 resentful. If this isn't possible now, take pause.

6. You are attracted to them. Do you remember that initial spark = between the=20 two of you? There is a special chemistry that is electrifying when there = is a=20 true physical attraction. As your relationship matures, daily life = issues=20 dominate your attention, and bodies age, this fundamental human = attraction can=20 keep those fires burning between the two of you both physically and = emotionally.=20 Every fire will burn itself out if not fueled, so assess if the flames = are being=20 stoked now well before the wedding day.

7. You genuinely like who your partner is as a person. A relationship = must be=20 based upon a solid friendship that can stand the test of time. You = genuinely=20 enjoy each other's company and prefer to spend time together rather than = alone=20 or with others. You should like the person as much as you love them. = Respect,=20 admiration and honor are enduring traits that remain even as passion = ebbs and=20 flows over time. Can you truly say that your mate is your best friend? = Would=20 your partner say that about you?

"America's Marriage Doctor" Jacqueline Del Rosario is President and CEO = of=20 Recapturing the Vision International, an organization dedicated to = promoting=20 healthy marriages and family strengthening. Also a published author, = speaker and=20 nationally regarded media personality, Dr. Del Rosario has been a certified pre and = post-marital=20 counselor for more than 20 years. She has two children and currently = resides in=20 Miami with her husband of over 20 years. Dr. = Del Rosario may be reached online at=20 www.doctordelrosario.com.

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